Wednesday was the day we had all been looking forward to - a
boat ride to a private beach, catered breakfast and lunch, paddle boarding,
snorkeling, a slide, a zipline, paradise. But this was also the day where my
fried skin caught up to me and I woke up very sick. Even
with all of the sunscreen applications I had A LOT of red on my body and was
gathering quite the collection of bug bites on my ankles (cute picture, right?)
Even though I felt so horrible, I was determined to go on the trip so tied my
swimsuit and put on a smile. And while this day was a very fun day, the
misfortune did NOT stop there.
The boat ride was nice and if I positioned my body on the
chair just right, my red back didn’t hurt too bad. We arrived at Las Caletas,
at some DELICIOUS tacos, and continued over to the beach. I wanted to try
paddle boarding so hopped right on and remained fairly upright - until I tried
to take a picture of Daniel. I fell right off my board, paddle flying, GoPro
flying, and worst of all, glasses flying - right to the bottom of the deep blue
sea. I didn’t know what to do, so I told Daniel to inform one of the workers.
Ruben (the worker) proceeded to snorkel my direction. As my board floated away
from me, he scanned the water for my $15 Amazon Specs. I “thought” I knew where
they had fallen, but turns out I was wrong and after 10 minutes he finally dove
down and grabbed them (my new hero). I then didn’t know what to do with them
(seriously such an annoying tourist) so he WORE them for 30 minutes until I got
out of the water. It was so adorable, he was so adorable, and it made my day.
Then I went with my cousin and some other family members to the activity part of the island (included a blob, a zipline, and a slide). When I went off the zipline I landed in the water and the worker just stared at me, worried. She asked if I was okay and I, responding to the very rough but tolerable landing said, “Yah I’m great!” She then told me that my face was bleeding and my cousin located three different cuts on my face. What can you do but suck it up, right?
Then I went on the blob, because a little blood can’t stop
me! For those of you who don’t know, a blob is like a giant water pillow where
one person sits on the end and another jumps propelling the first person into
the water. When my cousin was on the end of the blob, I jumped down and fell
off - a relatively painless endeavor. I then jumped on the blob so that someone
else could jump me off but landed wrong and propelled myself right into the
boat. Once again, I shook it off. When I finally crawled to the end of the
water pillow and a worker jumped down to launch me, I flew off the thing (it
felt like 10 feet in the air) and landed in the water with a slap. Not too
comfortable, but since there was no blood I was good.
When we all climbed out of the water this random guy asked
if we wanted to swim in the stingray tank. Naturally, I jumped in. And thank
God they didn’t have their barbs anymore because that could have been poisonous.
We got to play with the stingrays for a while - even when one escaped from the
trainer and we all low-key freaked out. Then it was time for the giant
waterslide.
This was no ordinary slide because the end of it shot you
into the air. We climbed the 300+ stairs and when we made it to the top a
worker chased after me to sign a liability waiver for my bleeding face.
Figures, they didn’t want me to sue them. And THEN I went on the
super-tall-probably-not-entirely-up-to-code-water-slide-where-you-are-shot-20-feet-in-the-air.
I was feeling good about this life decision because four other family members
had gone before me (and only one had chickened out). I sat down on the slide,
acted all cool like the heights didn’t freak me out, and screamed my way down
the ramp. Then, SPLAT. Holy cow that was the most painful landing I have ever
felt. I landed, with extreme force, on my left thigh and still feel the pain
with every step I take. Not to mention the BRUISE.
But again, I’m cool, shake it off, grit your teeth and bare
it.
So I went back to the relaxing beach and snorkeled for a
while. They had these floating hammock things and I decided to snorkel to one
of then and then try to hammock. When the hammock hurt my burnt back too much I
settled for a picture and hopped in my aunt’s kayak to head back to the beach.
As we approached the shore I reminisced about my time in the adventure park and
laughed fondly as I realized all injuries for the day were behind me. But as
Aunt Kristin pulled her paddle out of the salty ocean I turned her direction
and - WHACK - she paddled me in the nose!
At this point the workers were very concerned for my well-being. I just laughed, insisted
I was fine, and promised that I did not want to
fill out another stupid liability waiver.
When we got back to the resort I took a nice Netflix break
in our private wading pool and some Tylenol for my troubles. We then got some
tasty cheeseburgers for dinner and went to bed.
Thanks for reading,
The Opinionated Lassie
