Ode to my Umbrella

Ireland can receive anywhere from 150-225 days of rain each year. This means you have to have proper rain gear (aka rain boats, a rain jacket, and of course, an umbrella). Except for rain boots, I came prepared! And my favorite thing was a beautiful umbrella that I received as a graduation present featuring the painting Garden by Monet. It was a super nice umbrella too, strong fabric that could stand Kansas-level winds, the fancy supports that bounced back when it flipped inside out, and a reinforced pole with a nice handle. It was just so cute and set me apart from the average black umbrellas common over here.

But then I got caught in a really awful rain storm. I had just returned to Cork from Dublin on the train and had to make it back to my apartment. I had planned on just taking a taxi but they weren't lined up and I didn't have a number to call for one. A nice girl told me to take a bus and once I told her where I lived, it seemed like the one she was taking would work for me too. However, it was strongly drizzling at this point to foreshadow the pending doom. I got on the bus all fine and well but kept wondering why the bus was not going where I had expected. In fact, the bus dropped me about 10 minutes from my apartment and it was then pouring down rain. I had no choice, begin walking! And, although I was getting very soaked, my umbrella displayed valiant effort. But then about halfway there the wind picked up. I could barely walk it was pushing me so hard not to mention my poor umbrella! It was mutilated! 

When I got home, I looked like this:

And in addition, this evening was the beginning of the worst cold (2 weeks in duration) I have had in a long time. 

Now I thought this was the end of my umbrella, but, after seeing the broken and mangled remains of umbrellas that the Irish proudly carry around, I decided to let it dry and reassess the situation in the morning. By the time it dried I realized that it wasn't completely a lost cause but that one of the "legs" had snapped and two others had been ripped off the fabric so were nearly useless. But why invest in another umbrella then? The new one would be ruined just the same and, even though it looked a bit silly, Monet still kept me pretty dry.

These injuries, however, did a lot to mess with the stability and reliability of the umbrella. With one of the legs broken, Monet flips inside out even more and each time it does, the whole thing contorts even farther from its original shape. Additionally, the broken leg now hangs down under the umbrella and I have to dodge it as I walk. Not to mention this is a pointy piece of thick metal wire so a possible eye injury is in store if I don't watch closely. This poor trouper does its job to the best of its ability but it is becoming increasingly more useless. 

And now it has reached the end of its life as it no longer locks shut. I was trying to close it before I walked into the library. The front of the library is a wall of windows and as I was walking by probably 50 people my umbrella, which I thought was locked shut, sprung open in my hands and quite literally punched me in the stomach. Like actually really painfully. At least I know the spring has suffered no damage.

At this point, Monet is a hazard to me and those in close proximity. At any point it may punch me again, stab me in the eye or somewhere else on my head, or violently fold inside out and hit another poor pedestrian. I have two weeks left, and if it rains I may try a victory lap with Monet, but after that, I will sadly have to leave him at my apartment in the dumpster. 

RIP Monet - Trustworthy. Valiant. Pretty. Umbrella.